At Watershed, we always encourage our negotiators to think long-term. We want you to avoid a common negotiation relationship mistake. Relationships matter. Collaboration should be the default. But collaboration only works when both sides care about the relationship.
Too often, that’s not the case.
You go into a negotiation thinking this could be the beginning of a real partnership, so you invest in rapport-building. Flexibility defines your approach, and you expect the same in return. You assume the other party values the relationship like you do.
But what if they don’t?
What if they’re purely transactional? Maybe they’re under pressure to cut a deal fast, squeeze price, extract value, and move on. What if they’re measured on short-term metrics while you’re protecting something long-term?
This is the risk: you treat the interaction like a relationship, and they treat it like a transaction. That asymmetry creates exposure. You give more than you get, accommodate, and over-disclose. You hesitate to draw the line because you’re trying to “build the relationship.”
But there is no relationship. Not yet.
There’s a deal. And if you ignore that, you’re likely to walk away with an unbalanced outcome and a lingering sense of being taken advantage of.
The problem isn’t valuing relationships. The problem is failing to test whether the other side does too. It’s what we call situational awareness.
We’ve seen it countless times in procurement, sales, and strategic partnerships. One side shows up ready to collaborate. The other shows up to win. If you don’t recognize that difference early, you’ll be negotiating with the wrong playbook.
So what’s the move?
Default collaborative. Always. Assume positive intent. Look for ways to align. But stay alert. Watch how they handle tension. Pay attention to how they respond when you push back. Do they reciprocate flexibility, or capitalize on it? Do they signal long-term thinking, or are they targeting short-term wins?
If they show signs of being transactional, it doesn’t mean you should become combative. It means you become clear. You protect your value, shift the conversation to structure, scope, trade-offs, and terms. Then, you slow things down. You can still be respectful and build rapport. But you stop pretending this is something it’s not.
The best negotiators adjust. They don’t abandon collaboration, but they recalibrate it. They understand that every deal sits on a spectrum between relationships and outcomes. When both sides land on the same spot, great things happen. But when they don’t, you need to adapt fast.
This isn’t about being “nice” or “tough.” It’s about being smart. Relationship matters. But it only creates value when both sides are playing the same game. Always ask yourself: Are we building a relationship here? Or am I the only one who thinks we are? Don’t make a negotiation relationship mistake that will haunt you later.